Sex Is A Gift
Sexual purity seems to be an elusive trait in our culture. The word “virgin” evokes the scoffers, doubters, and haters. When my husband and I wed 9 years ago, no one believed us. Impossible. The thought of two twenty-somethings marrying and not knowing if they were “compatible” was horrifying to people. One child down and I’m pretty sure we are compatible. I won’t lie and say it was easy, but I had to change my mindset about sex.
Sex is God created. A gift. And beautiful when shared with our spouse in the biblical context of marriage. Why then can we not wait to get our hands on one another? Besides the obvious answer, hormones (which applies to us non-teenagers as well folks), we want to connect with people. We live in a culture that ties our sexuality to who we are as a person and stresses the importance of expressing who we are as an individual, so the natural consequence is to express our sexuality to those we connect with. The problem is that our sexuality is not all of who we are, but only one piece of us.
When we enter into relationship we share pieces of ourselves as time goes on. Healthy relationships rarely see all these pieces thrown on the table at once. Our sexuality is one piece that God asks us to hold on to until marriage but we fight back like a teenager who wants to “express who we are!” But how often do we look back and regret our teenage expression? I remember thinking that our dating relationship would be so much better if we could have sex, but I look back now and realize I was not ready for the weight of sharing that part of myself.
“Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body.” 1 Corinthians 6:18. We detest rules and accuse God of withholding fun from us, when in reality He is protecting one of the most precious, fragile pieces of who we are. We have a God who knows how he created us, and knows that part of us desires to connect with others intimately. In wisdom he would have us wait to share this one massively breakable part of our being.
Romans 6:14 reminds us “For sin will have no dominion over you, since you are not under law but under grace.” Of all the pieces of who we are, God asks us to hold on to one. One piece. This is grace at its finest. He knows the pain sexual sin causes us, and likewise the joy we encounter when we wait to share our sexual self. Just as we do not allow a child to play with scissors until he is competent to not harm himself or others, God desires that we would wait until we are committed to one another. So instead of thinking about sex as something God is withholding from us, we need to realize he waiting to bless us with an amazing gift. We just may not be ready for it yet.